I never thought that happiness will ever be a part of me. Life seemed not to have a meaning. I looked at my friends and I envied their smiles, I wanted to be more like them. My days were darker than my nights. It was on Sunday morning when all I could hear was the sound of birds singing as I struggled to get out of bed. I stood in front of the mirror and my eyes were swollen because of the painful tears that were shed few hours before I slept. I looked awful that I ended up breaking the mirror into pieces with an empty bottle of perfume that was at the dressing table. I moved to one corner of my bedroom, sat against the wall and broke down into tears. “I can’t take this no more, I cant. Why, Why Why???” I said in the midst of my tears. I spent at least twenty minutes on the floor and it did not bother me cause that was my daily routine. I thought my dreams were over and all hard work I had put was in vain. As I was sitting down on the floor, I saw a piece of paper, pulled it out of many other papers and it was one of my poems that I had written four years ago:
I am shaken
But I am not broken
I am in pains
But I won’t let them keep me in chains
Like the star
I will shine in the dark
Like the sun
I will rise to a brighter day
I read that short poem more than three times. I picked up one of the broken piece of a mirror and saw my reflection. I asked myself, “Who are you?” I continues talking to myself, “This is not you, where are you?”
I am here
Look at my hair, my eyes
My physique, my genes
I am special and unique
I am a diamond
I am the sun
I am the moon
I am a star
Storms and thunders shouldn’t make me less of a star
I am Phenomenal, Extraordinary and a Masterpiece
I smiled. As I looked at myself through a broken piece of a mirror, I saw me, the inner me that needed to come out. I had put my life in the hands of people and my happiness relied on what they whispered in their living rooms, toilets, bus stands, restaurants or classrooms. I had put myself so low that I had to lift up my head to just see an ant. Little did I know that happiness lives within me.
I smiled. As I looked at myself through a broken piece of a mirror I realized that I have been living the present as if it was the past. I lived in the past. Every morning I woke up with a heart full of regrets and a mind full of fear. The past had to happen only to make me stronger, to make me wiser and to allow me to grow and not to confine myself within these four walls. Every day is a day of new beginnings and a day of second chances. As the sun rises, my heart rise with joy, peace and hope for a brighter day. Yesterday was but today is and no matter what happened in the past that is my story in the making. I live my life as a story to inspire a generation and lift up those who are hopeless. I chose to let go of the past and let it shape me to a better person.
I smiled. As I looked at myself through a broken piece of a mirror I saw the real me, strong woman and a survivor not a victim. I was ready to forgive, forgive myself for allowing situations to take away the best of me. I stayed stagnant for so long and time was not my best friend. I wanted to move on with my head held up high because I have survived pains. I chose not to be a victim. I chose to be a survivor. I chose to be the best I can be and lift myself from the core of the earth to the sky where the sun is shining by day and the moon by night while stars remain to be my family members, my inspiration.
I am phenomenal, extraordinary and a masterpiece.